Guilt Trip
by scrittoreitaliano
Summary: Addison finally realized what she's been missing all this time: him. Will she let him come to her, or will she go to him first?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So I'm not quite sure if anyone wanted another story, but I've decided that I'm going to write one anyways. Don't forget to review!**

 **(Grey's Anatomy and it's characters are not owned by me)**

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Addison woke up in the middle of the night sobbing for the fourth time this week. She kept hearing his words in her head.

 _"Ad, let me hold you."_

 _"Addison, I'll always wait for you."_

 _"Addie... I love you."_

She loathed herself for letting him go, and now she was really beginning to break.

She constantly thought about him during the day, because of one main reason: the box.

Addison never fully finished unpacking her house in LA, but recently she felt inspired, so she began to unpack some of the boxes stuffed in the hall closet. As she was unpacking, she found a box full of pictures of her with friends. All of the other pictures had no meaning, but she could vividly remember the moments from the ones with Mark.

She took out one particular picture from a night they spent together in the brownstone.

 _The doorbell rang, and a lonely Addison trudged to look through the peephole. On the other side, she saw her husband's best friend._

 _"Hey." she said as she opened the door to let him in._

 _"Hey, hot stuff."_

 _She smirked and lightly pushed his arm._

 _"I got your text... I guess you can tell."_

 _She nodded, taking his leather jacket and hanging it on the coat rack._

 _"I needed some company."_

 _"I see." Mark replied with an evil-looking smirk smeared across his face._

 _"Not that kind of company."_

 _"Yet." Mark interjected, his tone considerably more seductive than when he first came in._

 _Addison rolled her eyes and chuckled, beginning to walk away._

 _They walked through the kitchen, and Mark immediately spotted the brand new camera on the counter._

 _"Woah, Addie! How much money did you spend on this camera?"_

 _"I'd rather not say."_

 _"Fair enough." He said, taking the shiny, black camera and turning it on._

 _He fidgeted around with it, finally put the setting on the timer, and set the camera up on the kitchen counter._

 _"Take a picture with me!" He practically shouted._

 _"No! I look horrible!" She retorted._

 _Mark obviously did not care because he scooped her off of her feet, flung her over his shoulder, and ran into the lens' view. Addison was flailing all over and was hysterical to the point of tears. Mark was looking at Addie, admiring her in this purely happy state._

 _The picture was taken before they could get into a good position, but they decided to look at it anyway._

 _What came onto the tiny screen, was the best picture known to man. Addie was hysterical, her arms and legs blurry, and Mark was beaming while looking at the redhead's face. If joy itself was a picture, it would be the one they had just taken._

 _She smiled as she saw the photo and then turned, grabbing Mark's face with her hands. Addison pulled him to her and fused her lips with his. He grinned into the kiss before breaking it, and leading her upstairs to her bedroom._

Every time she thought back to that moment, she smiled. She was truly happy when she was with him. She needed to feel that again.

The clock on her bedside table read 3:24, but that did not stop her from finally caving and picking up her phone. She dialed his number and her finger hovered over the call button.

 _Screw it._ She thought, pressing down. _He probably won't answer anyway._

A groggy Mark picked up the phone almost instantly and forced out a few words.

"This is Mark Sloan. Who am I speaking to?'

"Hi."

"Who am I sp-" he began again, "Addie?"

She stayed silent, all of her words suddenly stuck in her throat.

"Addie, is that you?"

"Yeah." She managed to squeak out. His voice bringing her to instant tears.

"Don't cry." He said, hearing her whimpers on the other side of the phone.

"I'm sorry, Mark."

"No."

"I miss you."

"Addie, it's been months."

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed.

"Ad, please."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you, and I'm sure your life is wonderful now, but I still miss you. I'm sure you have an amazing girlfriend and-" Mark interrupted her, causing her heart to leap into her throat.

"Addie, you're kidding me right?"

"I know this means nothing b-"

"A girlfriend, that's a joke. It's been 6 months since I've seen you and I haven't even looked at a woman that way."

She was speechless.

"And," he continued, "I don't know if I'll ever date again. You are the only one who I want to be with."

"Dammit, Mark."

"What?"

"I was supposed to say that to you."

A smile crept onto Mark's face.

"I miss you, Ads."

"I miss you, too."

"I wish I could come to you, but I have such a big surgery tomorrow." He said, sounding as dejected as ever

"I know! It's in every hospital newsletter." She said. "Congrats by the way. That's a big deal."

Mark sighed deeply, he wanted to see her so badly. "Thanks, Red."

The nickname sent chills down Addison's spine.

"Mark, I'm going to head to sleep." Addison said, "I have to get up really early."

"Alright. Goodnight Addie. It was nice to hear your voice again."

"Goodnight, Mark." She said and then hung up, clutching the phone to her chest.

They both whispered _I love you_ to the dead line.

Then, Addie got out of bed and decided to make her second impulse decision of the night.

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When Addison woke up, she was in Seattle.

She didn't want to smile when she saw Seattle, but she did. He was here.

The cab at the airport took her to the Archfield, and Addie went up to her room, immediately passing out on the memory foam mattress.

When she woke up, it was 5:00pm.

She got another cab and asked the driver to take her to the hospital. The familiar route he took there made her feel nostalgic. It almost felt like she had travelled back in time, because everything looked the same as it had when she left six moths prior.

Addison arrived at the hospital and as soon as she walked in, she went to go see Richard.

It was wonderful for her to see him, as he was like a father to her.

"Are you coming back for your job? The offer still stands." Richard stated matter of factly.

"No. Well not right now at least." She said. "I'm here for Mark."

Richard nodded and smiled joyfully.

"I think he really loves you, Addison."

"Oh I sure hope so." She replied, laughing nervously.

Richard directed her to the OR he was in and informed her that his surgery would be done in about an hour. That gave her time to run down to Ortho and visit Callie.

A short elevator ride later, she was in the Ortho wing. Confidently walking up to the nurses' station, she asked, "Would you be able to direct me to Callie Torres, please?" The nurse pointed down the hall, saying that Callie now had an office. Addison walked down to Callie's office and knocked on the open door.

"Nice office, Cal." She said with a chuckle.

Callie practically screamed and shot out of her seat to give Addie a hug. Callie asked why Addison was back so soon, so she explained her situation.

"He's going to be so happy." Callie said, as she rubbed Addison's arm, "He loves you, you know."

"And I love him." Addie said. Callie put one hand over her heart and smiled in awe.

The two women continued to catch up until it was 6:30 and Mark's surgery was almost over. Callie wished her luck as Addison went up to the Attending's locker room to wait for Mark.

Five minutes later Mark walked into the room, not seeing Addie in the chair. Addie stood up and spoke.

"I thought this time I'd come to you."

Mark whipped his head around and laid eyes on Addison. He strode over to her without saying a word and engulfed her in his embrace. Tears streamed down his face as he buried his head in her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. Pulling back, Mark lifted Addie's chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. Blue eyes met and he used his thumb to brush away a stray tear staining Addie's cheek.

"You came." he finally said.

"Yeah. I needed to."

"Addie, thank you. You're all I need."

"Mark," she started, "I love you. I always have, and I'm sorry you didn't know it sooner."

"I love you too, Ad. You have no clue how amazing it feels to finally hear you say that."

He leaned forward, captured her lips with his, and kissed her with more passion than ever before. Addison wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

"Where are you staying?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"The Archfield."

"Let's go there now and get your bags."

She was perplexed.

"Why?"

"You're going to stay with me."

Her lips curled into a wonderful smile.

She finally had the one she really loved.

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 **So I think I'm going to continue this, but please R &R and tell me if I should!**

 **Much love xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Addison got up early this lovely Sunday morning and quietly walked out onto the balcony. She left the doors open and let the fresh air fill the bedroom.

The cream colored drapes swirled around behind her like waves as a soft breeze blew through the city. The sky was remarkably blue today, which was a rarity in the dreary city of Seattle. From the balcony she could see the ocean. It calmed her soul.

Today was a special day because two days prior, Addison had found out she was 3 months pregnant. She finally connected the dots of the morning sickness and constant back pain, took a blood test at the hospital, and found out only hours later about the baby. She had not yet told Mark about it, but she was planning to today. The only problem was that her parents were coming to visit her and Mark, and it was going to be her first time seeing them since she was married to Derek.

She heard swift footsteps behind her, and felt Mark's hands snake around her waist. He whirled her around so they were nose to nose.

"Goodmorning, lovely." he breathed.

She placed a kiss on his strawberry lips. "Goodmorning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Sure." She said, an irritated tone tinged her voice.

"You sound weird, Addie." he said slowly, "What's wrong."

"I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. My. Parents." She sternly replied.

"Why?"

"Dammit Mark! You know why!" She said as she lightly slapped his chest.

"Addie, love, they cannot be that bad."

She rolled her crystal blue eyes, as she knew he was just humoring her. He knew how bad they were.

Mark took her silence as an opportunity to place another kiss on her lips. A fire still ignited every time they kissed, even though they had been dating for 7 months now.

She pulled back and giggled a bit.

"I guess it'll be fine as long as I'm with you."

"Forever and always." He quipped as he whirled her off of her feet and into the bedroom.

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There were three knocks at the door. Addison stood to answer but fell back down onto the couch.

"Nope."

"Addie y-"

"You do it then, asshole." She fiercely retorted.

Mark sighed and rose from his spot next to her. He made his way over to the door and opened it.

"Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery!"

"Hello, Mark... you bastard." Bizzy said.

Mark was completely taken aback by this comment. He turned to ask for moral support from Addison, but she was already making her way over to the door, as she heard the comment that had been made.

"I-I'm sorry?" He replied.

"Oh you know what I said you imbecile."

"Bizzy, calm down." Her husband said calmly.

"No!" She shouted. "I will no-"

"Bizzy! Talk to Mark that way again and you can go back to the airport and wait for a damn flight home." Addison snarled.

Mark was surprised by the forcefulness in Addison's voice. She was terribly upset by the comments that had been made.

Addison's parents walked into the house and sat down. The four made awkward small talk until it was about time for them all to get ready to go out for dinner.

Addison locked the door and whipped her head around. Tears began to fall from her eyes, so Mark warmly embraced her.

"Babe, I'm so sorry." Addison sobbed.

"No, don't you worry about me. I'm fine. We will get through this." He said.

Addison nodded. She was going to have to wait to tell him about the baby.

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They had a terribly uncomfortable dinner, and decided to leave earlier than they had planned to. When they arrived back at Mark and Addison's, The Captain made a statement.

"You could cut the tension at dinner with a knife." he said, "That's why I think we all need to talk."

He sat down on a beautifully upholstered chair in the living room, and he patted the seat next to him.

Bizzy, Addison, and Mark all sat down and waited for someone to speak. Mark opened his mouth first and made his stance known.

"I know you both don't like me very much because of what happened between Addison and her ex-husband," He started, his voice quavering as he spoke "but I want you to know that Addison is my whole world. I would do anything for her, and I'd like to think she'd do the same for me."

Bizzy scoffed and went to speak but Addison gave her a polarizing glare as if to say 'Let him say his piece."

Mark continued, "Yes, we have made some questionable decisions in the past, but we have both grown so much individually and as a couple. I love Addie with my whole heart and soul and I hope you come to understand that it was never just a game between us."

Addison was teary eyed. He had said everything so perfectly, and she loved him even more now than when they woke up that morning. She reached over and grabbed his hand, reassuring him that what he said was more than perfect.

"Well, Mark," Bizzy replied, "that was very well said, and I have not the slightest bit of doubt in my mind that you love Addison more than I could imagine, but this is not just about you."

Mark felt Addison tense up.

"This is about Addison being a complete and utter disgrace to the Forbes-Montgomery name."

"Bizzy," The Captain began.

"No!" She shouted. "Addison, I surely did not raise you to be an adulterous wh-"

"Get out." Addison had stood up now, and she was visibly shaking.

"Say that again, Addison, and I will take away your trust fund!"

"Get out." Addison said again, this time more forcefully. "I don't need your damn trust fund! I make six figures every year because I work my ass off so I don't have to owe you anything."

"Work your ass off?" Bizzy shouted. "Who cares about work when you can barely hold onto a relationship! Let alone a family!"

Addison was fuming. The next thing that came out of her mouth though was a game-changer in every way.

"I hope you're happy that your grandchild is going to grow up without grandparents!" She shouted.

The room fell quiet. Mark rushed to Addison's side, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

"Addie, what did you just say?" He asked.

She looked at him with tears filling her ocean blue eyes. Her heart was racing when she finally told him.

"Yeah," she cried, placing her hand protectively over her stomach, "we're having a baby."

Mark scooped her off of her feet and hugged her tighter than he ever had before. He held on for a few seconds before placing her down and guiding her back to her spot on the loveseat.

Mark turned to Bizzy and The Captain, "I think it's best if we have some time alone right now."

The Captain nodded solemnly and guided an apoplectic Bizzy into the guest room. Mark took Addison's hands in his and turned to look at her.

"Look at me, Add." He pleaded.

Addison turned to him and began to sob again. She felt so guilty for him having to find out this way.

"I-I" she began, but Mark interrupted her.

"Addison, there is nothing at all to cry about. We are having a baby. You have wanted this all of your life and you cannot let your mother ruin your happiness."

"Oh, Mark, I'm so sorry. I love you and I am so excited to have this baby with you." She breathed.

She leaned toward him and he embraced her again. He felt her hands grasp his back, but suddenly her body went limp.

"Addie?"

He grabbed her shoulders and began to pull her away. When he took his hands off of her arms, she collapsed to the ground and he noticed blood beginning to pool around her feet.

"No. No!" He screamed.

Bizzy and The Captain came running out of their room. They gasped when they saw Addison's lifeless body lying on the floor. Mark was hovering over her, checking her vitals.

"Call 911!" Mark shouted at them. "She can't lose this baby."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hi! I didn't write anything on the last chapter but I've been writing more often! This story has taken a turn but at least I'm uploading!_**

Mark furiously wiped at his eyes while he sat in the back of the ambulance with Addie.

"Addie, oh god." He softly said.

Addison slowly drifted into consciousness, and she made eye contact with Mark immediately. Her eyes darted quickely around the inside of the ambulance. When she realized where she was, her face was plastered with worry.

"Mark," she said, breathing heavily, "is our baby okay?"

"I don't know, Addie."

Addison let out a loud sob. Mark firmly grabbed her hand and she squeezed back.

"Save the baby. Sa-"

A chorus of beeping commenced while Addison slowly mumbled over and over for them to save the baby. She had lost a lot of blood and her body was going into shock. Mark never let go of her hand, though, reassuring her that everything would be alright, even though he was not quite sure himself.

When they pulled up to the hospital and opened the ambulance doors, the first person he saw was Callie. He hopped down from the vehicle and she embraced him as they wheeled Addison into a trauma room.

"Dammit, Callie!" Mark shouted.

"She's gonna be fine, Mark. We all know that she's a fighter. This won't take her down."

Mark nodded before jogging inside. He peered through the windows of each room before he found her. He saw Miranda Bailey take out the paddles and put them on his girlfriend's unmoving chest, calling out something to a nurse, and blasting Addison full of energy.

He flung the door open and stood there, watching as everyone let out a sigh of relief when the steady beat of her heart returned.

"Mark, get out of here!" Bailey shouted. "I'll let you know right away if anything happens."

Callie led Mark to the waiting area and they sat there in complete silence until Mark saw Addison's parents walk into the hospital. He slowly rose from his seat, and Callie tried to hold him back, but there was no stopping him at this point.

"Nope." He said as he strode up to them. "Leave. Now."

"You can't speak to me like that, Mark." Bizzy said, surprised at his angry tone.

"Yes I can." Mark replied. "I can because **you** are the reason we are here. **You** are the cause of this. It is **your** fault that my one true love, my best friend, the woman carrying my child, could die tonight. Sh-she could d-die and m-my child could die. Oh my god, my Addie."

Mark fell into a chair and burst into tears. Callie rushed over and confronted Addison's parents.

"I really think it's best if you both leave, or if you really feel the need to stay, give Mark adequate space."

They decided to stay, but seated themselves at the other end of the waiting room. Mark continued to cry like no one had ever seen him do before until he drifted asleep.

He dreamed of the most amazing morning a few months prior, possibly when his child was conceived.

 _Mark's eyes fluttered open when he felt a light kiss on his face. He rolled over and found himself nose to nose with his beautiful, fiery-haired_ _girlfriend._

 _"Good morning, love." Addison said, pressing a kiss to his lips._

 _He smiled and kissed her back. He could not stop thinking about how amazing she was and how happy she made him. He gazed into her gorgeous eyes for another few seconds before pressing his lips onto hers again, but this time with more passion than ever before._

 _"Mmm" Addie sighed into the kiss. "What did I do to deserve this?_

 _"You just existed, Red. I love you." He replied._

 _Before she even had the chance to respond, he had rolled on top of herHe kissed her neck and face, and she did the same. He slowly kissed his way down her body._

 _It happened to be the best either of them had ever had._

 _After, they laid cuddled up in their soft sheets, gazing into each other's eyes._

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Mark was awoken by someone shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that light was pouring into the hospital. Scanning the room, he saw the source of the shaking was Richard.

Mark stood up, his eyes still cloudy from the tears.

"Where is she? Is she okay? Is our baby okay?"

Richard stared blankly at him for a moment.

"No, no, no!" Mark almost shouted.

He ran as fast as humanely possible to the stairwell, sprinted up the stairs to the OB wing, and ran to the nurse's station.

"Where is Addison Montgomery?"

The young nurse pointed him towards a room. He flung open the door and saw Addison lying peacefully in the bed. He knelt down by her side and began to weep again.

"I'm so sorry that we lost the baby, Addie. I would've loved him or her so much."

Dr. Bailey appeared suddenly in the doorway.

"What foolishness are you spouting out, Sloan?" She questioned. "Your baby is fine! The stress from the fight caused a placental abruption, but I got it under control. Addison and the baby are fine."

Richard joined Miranda in the doorway.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, Mark. It's been a long and scary night for all of us. I was just at a loss for words."

Mark collapsed to the floor before standing and embracing Miranda in a tight hug. He was eternally grateful that she had saved his beautiful girlfriend and his child.

While Mark hugged Dr. Bailey, Addison slowly woke up. She took in her surroundings before panicking.

"My baby, is my baby okay? Did you save my baby?"

Miranda assured her that the child growing inside of her was alright, she just needed to relax for a while. Addison was so relieved. She beckoned Mark over to her and placed a firm kiss on his lips.

"I'm so sorry." She said, softly.

"No, hey, no Addie don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I love you."

He told her that he loved her too, and they embraced until the young nurse entered the room.

"Dr. Montgomery, I'm glad to see that you're okay!" She said sweetly. "You're parents are here to see you. Should I let them in?"

"They're not good for you, Add. The stress is dangerous." Mark stated.

"I know but I need to set things straight." Addie whispered. "Send them in, please."

The nurse nodded cheerily, but this would be no cheery matter. Within seconds Addison's parents walked into the room slowly.

"Addison," Her father said as he shook his head. "are you alright?"

Addison nodded. Her heart rate began to speed up, and the monitor began to beep, so she grabbed Mark's hand. The beating of her heart slowly steadied.

"Bizzy. You almost just single-handedly ruined my life. This is my second chance at having a child, and you almost killed me and my baby."

"What do you mean by second chance, Addison? Did you have an abortion? You are a piece of sh-" Bizzy began to shout but Addison continued to speak.

"I screwed up the first time and I won't do it again. I can't do it again. Mark and I deserve a family. I cannot deal with your stress in my life, so I think it's best if we refrain from having contact. Your grandchild will not know you, and you'll have to deal with it because it is your mistake. Now, I'd like you to leave so I can spend time with the love of my life."

Bizzy looked shocked. She mumbled some crude words under her breath and stormed out of the room, The Captain trailing on her heels. Seconds later though, The Captain reappeared in her room, and he wrote a number down on a sheet of paper.

"This is my cell number, Addison. Stay in touch with me. I want to be in your child's life, and because of everything that happened I think it's time for me to leave Bizzy. I'm so proud of you." He quickly said before jogging out of the room to join his soon to be ex wife.

"Mark, this is it. Our family is going to be real." Addison said.

"Yeah. It's about time." He replied.

He climbed into the bed with Addison and the soft smell of his cologne made her drift into a deep sleep. He leaned down, softly kissed her forehead, and shut his eyes. _Our family is going to be real._

 **Hey! Let me know if I should continue!**

 **xo, scrittoreitaliano**


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